Anxiety Therapy in Montclair
Support for Worry, Self-Criticism, and People-Pleasing
Does anxiety have a hold over you, undermining your ability to enjoy life?
- Do worry and rumination take over?
- Do you beat yourself up over things you've said or done? Do you have an inner critic that has a running commentary? Are you much harder on yourself than you are on your friends?
- Do you struggle with low self-esteem or self-doubt?
- Does your fear of standing up for what you need cause you to people please? Do you often say yes when you really want to say no?
- Do you feel responsible for keeping the peace or making others happy? Do you even know what you want?
- Do you have panic attacks — sudden surges of fear with a racing heart, shortness of breath, or dizziness?
- These patterns can change. Having someone help you understand and work through them can be a big relief.
Some Anxiety Is Natural
Many people have anxiety, especially these days. Anxiety can be helpful at times to offer us protection or motivate us to get something done. Often there is a fine line between anxiety and excitement. But as we all know, too much anxiety can take a toll on quality of life and your body. Carving out time for yourself amid strains, pressures, and obligations is the first step in relieving this anxiety.
Our society puts heavy pressure on us to be constantly productive. Being calm is not prioritized. Whatever is driving your stress takes priority over your own wellbeing and can make you feel out of control. But the ability to maintain equanimity is an important way that you can have control over your life and wellbeing. In the face of the endless small decisions that determine how your day/week/month/year turns out, your attitude is important. As Thoreau said, “the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” Fortunately, in therapy you can clarify your priorities and learn not to waste your energy.
How Anxiety Therapy Can Help
People seek anxiety counseling for all kinds of reasons — often a harsh inner critic or the exhaustion of always saying yes. Treatment isn’t one-size-fits-all, and I will shape the work around what is weighing on you specifically.
Having someone listen to your concerns carefully can help unravel difficult feelings that have become stuck inside. In therapy you can give voice to thoughts and feelings that might not feel safe in your relationships. I work collaboratively with you to help you get where you want to go from a grounded place.
I usually gather pertinent background information, help you develop goals, and then clear out whatever is in the way of you moving toward them. Often I use an Internal Family Systems approach, which helps you get less caught up in reactive parts of yourself and more connected to your calmer, more grounded self.
Somatic approaches can also help, especially for those who haven’t made improvement with talk therapy.
Feeling Safe
Finding someone with whom you feel safe enough to share some of your most intimate thoughts and feelings is essential for the therapy to be effective. I take a non-judgmental approach as I aim to understand your struggles and what is holding you back. Everyone is different, and I appreciate the chance to figure things out with you. It is almost always helpful to have an outside person on your side.
I have successfully treated many people over two decades in this field. As a former ER social worker for both medical and psychiatric emergencies, I have supported people through a broad range of adversities, and I bring that wide-angle view and an open mind into the four walls of the office.
You Can Feel More Grounded and Confident
Positive changes can start small. The inner critic no longer takes center stage. You say no without rehearsing it for a week, or you let a decision rest instead of turning it over all night. The worry doesn’t disappear — some of it is useful — but it stops running things.
What can follow is a stronger sense of yourself: knowing what you want and spending your energy on what matters to you rather than on managing everyone else.
It’s normal to feel a bit anxious about initially reaching out and it might be the hardest step. But once you take it, you are already beginning to rise above your fears to make progress.
“Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.”— Epictetus
Common Questions About Anxiety Therapy
- I’ve tried to handle it myself — or done plenty of therapy — and I’m still anxious. Would this help?
Whether you’ve been powering through on your own or you’ve already done years of therapy, still feeling anxious doesn’t mean you’re beyond help. Anxiety often lives in the body as much as the mind, and insight alone doesn’t always shift it. A somatic approach might be the missing piece. Or sometimes all the ground work you have done prepares you for a change that I can help facilitate.
- How do I know if you’re the right fit for me?
Feeling comfortable and able to trust your therapist is very important. Sometimes people just have a sense of who they want to work with, but often they speak with a few people first. You might find someone perfect for you, or someone who is good enough. I welcome feedback, and it can be beneficial for the therapy to say what might be holding you back. Nevertheless, opening up to someone new can feel awkward at first and eases as trust grows.
Wondering what the first session is like? See how getting started works.
Ready to take the first step?
Book a free 15–20 minute consultation to see if we’re a good fit, or send a message below with any questions.