Anxiety Therapy in Montclair
Support for Worry, Self-Criticism, and People-Pleasing
Does anxiety have a hold over you, undermining your ability to enjoy life?
Do worry and rumination take over?
Do you beat yourself up over things you’ve said or done? Do you have an inner critic that has a running commentary? Are you much harder on yourself than you are on your friends?
Does your fear of standing up for what you need cause you to people please? Do you often say yes when you really want to say no?
Do you feel responsible for keeping the peace or making others happy? Do you even know what you want?
It is possible to change these patterns. Having someone help you process them can be a big relief.
Some Anxiety Is Natural
Many people have anxiety, especially these days. Anxiety can be helpful at times to offer us protection or motivate us to get something done. Often there is a fine line between anxiety and excitement. But as we all know, too much anxiety can take a toll on quality of life and your body. Carving out time for yourself amid strains, pressures, and obligations is the first step in relieving this anxiety.
Our society puts heavy pressure on us to be constantly productive. Being calm is not prioritized. Whatever is driving your stress takes priority over your own wellbeing and can make you feel out of control. But the ability to maintain equanimity is an important way that you can have control over your life and wellbeing, in the face of the endless small decisions that determine how our day/week/month/year turns out. As Thoreau said, “the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” Fortunately, in therapy you can clarify your priorities and learn not to waste your energy.
How Anxiety Therapy Can Help
Taking the first step to prioritize your wellbeing by going to therapy can help you move in the right direction. As the saying goes, “the grass is greenest where you water it.” Having someone listen to your concerns carefully can help unravel difficult feelings that have become stuck inside you. Learning to stand up for yourself and have difficult conversations can be challenging but makes things easier in the long run. In therapy you can give voice to thoughts and feelings that might not feel safe in your relationships. Having an outsider’s eye view of one’s situation can also be helpful. I work collaboratively with you to help you get where you want to go from a grounded place.
I usually gather pertinent background information, help you develop goals, and then clear out whatever is in the way of you moving toward them. Often I use an Internal Family Systems approach, which helps you center the positive aspects of yourself rather than coming from reactivity. Somatic approaches can also help, especially for those who haven’t made improvement with talk therapy.
It is normal to want a a sense of control, and sometimes that need is so great that people will beat themselves with criticism to gain a false sense of control while actually clouding good judgment. As Seneca said, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
It is helpful to clarify what is in your control and make the most of that. Epictetus said, “Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.”
Finding the Right Fit: My Approach to Therapy
It’s a good idea to research who you will entrust with some of your most intimate thoughts and feelings. By law, therapists are required to keep all interactions confidential, barring some legal exceptions which are rare and will be made clear to you. But you need to feel enough trust and safety to feel comfortable sharing these feelings.
I have successfully treated many people over two decades in this field in all kinds of situations. As a former ER social worker for both medical and psychiatric emergencies, I have seen a significant share of life’s adversities. I have brought this wide angle view into the safety of the office to bring a laser focus on individuals and couples, holding out hope for what is possible. Regardless of background, everyone wants to make the most of their life, which inevitably is hard at times. Prioritizing yourself in this way is the first step.
I have committed myself to helping repair the world by helping people to heal. I have had numerous trainings in evidenced-based practices over the years. Prior to becoming a social worker, I was a modern dancer and appreciate how sustaining the arts came be. Now my dance background informs my somatic work. I’d like to help you answer the poet Mary Oliver’s question “Tell me, what is it you want to do with your one wild and precious life?” Our lives are a gift which deserve care, attention, and intentionality.
Schedule a Consultation
It’s natural to be uncertain about finding the right person to help you. There are numerous therapists with many approaches, which are all good for some people but not all are good for everyone. There’s no risk to call and have a brief discussion with me for free to see if it feels like I am a good fit for you.
